the journey continues

Atha yoga anushasanam. 

The first yoga sutra teaches us that NOW begins yoga. Well, that's great! Im on my mat, and I'm doing yoga, so-whew!- thats done. Well.. not exactly. So what are these sutras that I speak of?
Simply put, the fundamental teachings of yoga.

When I first started practicing yoga, I thought it was great. I sweat a lot, so thats got to be good, right? I feel limber and strong, even though I flailed through most of the poses and wobbled on my feet. I didn't practice regularly, but loved the idea of it. Perhaps I was too shy to go to a class regularly, or just couldn't find the time. But it struck a chord deep in my soul and it continued to resonate. I decided I wanted to teach yoga. But life got in the way, as it has a way of doing.

It was a few years later, I wandered into a small studio and the fire sparked in me again. As I lay in Child's Pose, my sweaty forehead plastered to my mat, gasping for air, I wondered.. why am I doing this? What am I getting out of it? But I felt the pull, and every week I returned. It became something that I needed. I wanted to find out more. Physically my body started to change. I didn't flail as much, and I became a bit less wobbly. My shoulders didn't burn quite as badly as they had in the beginning. I became stronger. Like many people, I tried yoga for its physical benefits. But without warning, the spiritual side creeps in. You start to look at things a bit differently. Perhaps, the driver that just cut you off in traffic is spared the blaring horn and the profanities, and you start to wonder what they have going on in their life that they need to hurry along with no regard for you. Maybe they are rushing to the hospital to be there for a sick loved one. Or better! The birth of a child. You begin to bring the calmness of the mat into your daily life. An angry customer yelling into your ear is greeted with kindness and a smile. You choose carefully what you put in your body and choose carefully the words that come out of your mouth. Speaking truth and compassion. And NOW begins yoga.

You're ready to explore the deeper dimensions of yoga and well.. your life. Lately I feel as if I am having a constant cycle of NOW begins yoga. I felt it when I signed on the dotted line to become a yoga instructor. I feel it every time I walk into a classroom and greet my students, eagerly awaiting my lesson for the day. Helping someone to find their NOW is amazing and humbling. As I watch you twist and sweat, and respond to my cues, I am reminded of myself flailing and wobbling not so long ago. I do still flail and wobble, but I gladly accept those flails and wobbles and take them in stride instead of getting frustrated with myself. Im embracing the ups and downs and the whirlwind moments, and I am so excited to see where I land. On and off the mat.

Every moment. Every breath. Every word. Every action has lead you to this very moment. What will you do with it and which direction will you choose?

Atha yoga anushasanam.

beginning.

"It's not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." ~ Sir Edmund Hillary, first to successfully summit Mt. Everest with Tenzing Norgay. 

And so it begins. I sit here and stare up at my mountain, figurative in this case, but a mountain nonetheless. My palms sweat, my heart races, and the nervous ball of energy is swiftly churning in the pit of my stomach. But I have already taken the first step and I am on my way. Unsure of what awaits me on my way to the top of the climb, but I have started.

Sound familiar? How many times were you faced with your mountain and backed down? I have. Plenty.
Let me start at the beginning..

I have never been the sort of person that sees things in black and white. I did not go to college with one end result in mind and work fervently towards it. No, not me. I have many interests, and I am an ever evolving ball of energy, bouncing from one great thing to the next. So you see, I have many pieces of paper that say I can do many things. This used to be a great source of stress and anxiety and well, frankly, self depreciation. I watched many of my friends and family members find their calling and go for it. And I thought, why dont I have that drive? What is wrong with me? How am I going to ever make it? Whatever making it amounts to.

So for a very long time, I was content with just going through the motions. I had a job. It pays me well enough. I find no satisfaction whatsoever in what I do, but who says youre supposed to? You just work.
Of course I became more and more discontent with that idea, and started really taking a long hard look at my life and accomplishments. I have done PLENTY! Now the conundrum was to figure out how all those pieces fit together. I pushed it aside.

I believe firmly that whatever I was doing was essential to where I would end up. I had to go through certain things for other things to fit into place. I made very hard decisions, unsure of what the outcome would be, hoping all along that they were the right decisions. In a blink, I packed my entire life and moved 1700 miles away from the only home I knew, to see what else was available to me. And my life has never been better.

I have combined my knowledge and all my pieces of paper, and with the help of some incredibly inspiring people that have come into my life (whether they know it or not), I have added to my collection of papers and given them all a collective name. Combining my passion for yoga, massage, and all that is health and wellness related, I am excited to announce that I will be venturing into the world of becoming a Health and Nutrition Coach. Soon. Very, very soon.

Sometimes you have to step blindly onto your mountain, ready to face whatever storms await and push through.

My mountain stands before me, but this time I am ready to run to the top and face each storm with open arms. Conquering my own doubts, fears and uncertainties.

What is your mountain?